Darling , I always wished that i was the on who can keep you smiling but then i wasnt the reason the smile in your sleep, i always wished that i was the one that can give you everything , i always wished that i could be the one that you boast to your friends about , i always wished that I was the one who sings you to sleep. I used to wish that you'll tell your friends that no one knows you like I do and that you'll do the same I'll tell you how I took one straight to the heart when you talk about your other boyfriends , and that i'll pretend that i didnt feel a thing.
And then one day my wishes came true as i wished on a shooting star , I promise i'll hold you close in my arms , close in my heart , till the day heaven calls. Darling i love you so much , the reason that keeps me smiling , the reason why i wake up every morning smiling , the reason that keeps me going. The times when we're down , the moments when we're holding each other like we're gonna hold each other forever , the hugs where we'll never let go , the kisses that we wished that'll last forever. the times where I held my world in my arms . I'll carry you this way all the way to the grave baby!
Okay , today I have a spontaneous and totally random thing for my one and only.
Here's the thing , i suddenly thought of writing a song and the lyrics just flew into my mind , i know im not a good singer , nor am i a good guitarist , but i really wanted to play this song and share it out , even though i just used my phone to record it , i hope you get to listen it properly though , even if you dont the lyrics are below. And yeah if you're guessing i stole the intro from some indonesian song :P
I wish that I could be someone that you need Someone that you want But I’m not I’m not I’m alone and I’m weak Afraid of everything So could you turn away from me?
I thought I’d stand my ground And shield you from the crowd But as the panic spread I lost your hand I crept off like a rat A coward in the black So could you turn away from me?
When this goes, one more time You know I will, stand I’ll stand I wait for you
Don't look now, I’m not there Don’t look now I’m already gone already gone You might find I’m a mess You might find I’ll let you down let you down
When this goes around, one more time I know I will, stand I'll stand And I'll stretch my eyes, across the sky And where you are I’ll be there
Well , Its been so long since I've been blogging but this is a post made for my special someone :) . Well its like a fairytale story for me , its like we've known each other for so long and somehow after so many years of seeing and knowing each other , but not talking to each other maybe because I was too shy . Imaginary couple at the age of 7 made by our parents. I've fallen in love with my childhood friend , my best friend. She might be my first but i have a feeling she will also be my last. I might be an amateur in relationships and how to deal with problems and all but I'm sure of 1 thing and that is I'm in love with this angel that was sent to me. Never did i thought that one day she would be mine , never did i thought when i was younger when i was sitting across the table and wondering who the hell was that pretty girl that was sitting there and then a few years later she would be in my arms. When I first started to get close to her around a year back , i realized something , i have this hunch inside me to go for her because she might be the one, but i was scared , i was scared that she will turn out like the others who breaks me , i was scared to lose a childhood friend i just found and i just kept quiet about my feelings. It took me a year and 2 relationships of hers to finally get my chance , which i took it with everything i got . It might not have started as well as I imagined it because of some interference from some friends , but I dont care because i just think is something like an obstacle or challenge thrown at us and we will go through it. People think it as easy come easy go , people think we're going too fast , so are you all saying that it was easy looking at the person i love go thru 2 relationships , being happy , for me keeping my feelings to myself and telling her that those guys are the one because she seemed so happy with them? Sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of hers? Think about it , if that was easy why not putting yourself in my shoes.
Ricky was a young boy, He had a heart of stone. Lived 9 to 5 and worked his fingers to the bone. Just barely out of school, came from the edge of town. Fought like a switchblade so no one could take him down, nooo He had no money, oooh no good at home. He walked the streets a soldier and he fought the world alone
18 and life. You got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go
18 and life You got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go
Tequila in his heartbeat, His veins burned gasoline. It kept his motor running but it never kept him clean. They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one." He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun. Bang Bang Shoot 'em up, The party never ends. You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend And now it's
18 and life You got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go
18 and life You got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go
"Accidents will happen" they all heard Ricky say He fired his six-shot to the wind that blew a child away.
18 and life You got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go
18 and life You got it 18 and life you know Your crime is time and it's 18 and life to go
Yes i am shortly back to blogging. Maybe because I have too many sleepless nights. Pressure is piling on me as my final exams are close , i do not give a shit about studying actually , all i want is to live to the fullest , and not stuck in an air-cond room everyday to learn stuff I will almost never use in the future just to get a shitty piece of paper called a "degree".
Sometimes i feel life is pointless , we live we die , whats the point of living when you cant enjoy half of the time you have left. Some people should learn to live it to the fullest. And that is not gaining knowledge in a classroom , it should be gained while exploring the world , while learning from real life experiences , not taught from other people's experiences and mistakes but your own. Life is becoming too complicated. People of the younger generation nowadays only fuss about 2 things , exams and crappy relationships. I mean , what the fuck are you thinking? There's so much more to life. The older generation only cares about making money and how to teach their children to make money by sending them to colleges to get fancy degrees so that hey can be proud of us and show off to people about how good their sons/daughters are. What about our life? Our life is built only to satisfy others but not ourselves. When are the days where self satisfaction is key?
They say self satisfaction is selfish , but if we are made to satisfy others, whats the point of living? Whats the point of living for the sake of others? The world is a weird place to live in nowadays and hopefully i wont live to see the situation worsen. I'd rather die than to live in a world full of weird mindsets and complicated but pointless objectives to live. Some youths think "love" and exams are the thing to die for , Well , fuck them , they do not know the meaning of living , pointless mindfucked people , mindfucked by the society around us , the weird culture.
A show of hands, who has said these words before With a show of hearts on the floor, who has ever meant them more Well I'll swallow my pride if you'll stay for the years And watch me spin circles as I disappear Hearts, they don't lie they just quiver in fear As you say Tonight we, forget everything And stay the night If I was wrong then I'm sorry I'll stop this fight For the night And this empty space left in the seat To my right where you should be says a lot Don't let it say goodbye And today I know that tomorrow is going to shine golden and bring our hearts back home And today meant nothing, because youre gone And I swear that this meant everything to me, because my hearts not home.
Okay , my blog is like super dead nowadays cause i dont have anything to blog about. So imma do one of my classic emo posts.
So yeah, wondering what happened? I fell for the wrong girl again. It was super accidental. I really didnt want it to happen but it did. But i dont look back and regret , i dont live life with remorse. I did the worst mistake a guy could ever do. My mind was all mashed up and i did stupid things and i screwed everything up. All i wanted was to taste valentine's for at least once in my life. Maybe this is not the year.
Its true , i have loads of close friends that are girls , and i love em alot , they're wonderful , really. They are always there when im down , great friends indeed.
But. I really dont wanna ask much..or sound despo , but , but , i want someone that i could share all my problem with , a person i could sit down and talk for hours with , someone i could take for a walk in the park , or share with her a pint of icecream , watch a movie or have a quiet candlelit dinner with. Take care of her when she's sick , give her a different flower everytime we go out just to look at that smile on her face. Ah , how i long for that special girl to come someday.
Shit , im going really heavy on the ciggarettes nowadays , really bad for my health , but what the hell.
Oh well , enough emo-ness for today , tomorrow will hold better things . All i have to do is smile. :)
